I suck at Portuguese (and other languages)

What do you call someone who speaks two languages?

Bilingual.

What do you call someone who speaks several languages?

Multilingual.

What do you call someone who speaks one language?

Australian.

As an Australian, whenever I travel I feel stupid. Virtually every country I have been to over the last 12 years is filled with people who speak two or more languages. I've met people who speak as many as seven different languages, and others who say – in perfect English – that English is only their “third or fourth best language”.

This book has helped, but I'm still a dummy

Meanwhile, myself and many other Australians speak only English – and some will argue we don't even speak that well.

It is kind of understandable. We don't share a border with any other country, and, while we have many immigrants, there isn't one dominant language that unites many of them – unlike in the United States where the largest group of immigrants speak Spanish. When combined with the fact English has become, like it or not, the World's “second language” and “language of business”, there is no real need to learn another language.

That isn't to say that no Australians know other languages. Many Aussies who's parents are from other countries learn their native language, and most schools require some kind of second language learning for at least a couple of years, but the culture doesn't really lend itself to children embracing the new language. Many immigrants are often shamed into “conforming” to speaking English only in public, while their children often don't embrace the language of their parents for fear of being seen as an outsider.

The way we teach language in Australia also doesn't help. Even English. It was only when learning new languages that I began to really understand English grammar. What was a verb or a noun? I finished high school without ever really being sure. And when we do teach foreign languages in school they're not done well. They're usually taught by Australians who are likely to have never even been to the country who's language they are teaching.

For all of these problems though I could still be better at languages if I tried a bit harder.

The only foreign language taught at my high school was French, and our teachers were Australian and Scottish. Because of court they were. I did the mandatory two years, and from my grades and reports was actually quite good at it, but as soon as I was able to drop it I did. I dropped it because I couldn't see any need for it in my future and because the way it was taught was mind numbingly boring.

20 odd years later all I remember, aside from the standard greetings is the following, which formed the first line of poem we were forced to memorise:

J'ai un petit chat, petit comme ça.

It translates to “I have a small cat, small like this”.

That isn't going to keep a 13 year old kid interested.

One of the first places I travelled to when I finally left Australia was France, and while it would have been beneficial to have known more French, I got by with only English as well as one Aussie friend who spoke some French because of her parents. And that is how much of my travel has gone.

I've always made a point of learning some basics in whatever country I go to. The important things like; “yes”, “no”, “thank you”, “two beers please” and “cheers”, but when you're moving through a country in a just a few weeks, you rarely get a chance for more than that.

Like Paul Kelly, I can order sandwiches in seven different languages.

The first time I wished I'd learned more of any language was when I was living in Canada and wanted to find a job in Montreal. While a lot of people will say that people in Quebec don't speak “real” French, if I'd studied more when I was in high school I likely would have had a better chance of picking up the Quebecois dialect.

When setting off for my 8 month trip through Latin America, I decided I needed to learn Spanish. I'd spent around two months in Spain years earlier and had enough Spanish to get by, but I wanted to be able to do more than order food and buy bus tickets. While in Guatemala I took an intensive week long course and got to a level where I could have actual conversations – as long as the other person was speaking slowly and only talked about things I had already learned.

It went ok through Central America, but then old habits crept in. Accents changed meaning I found things more difficult to understand, and there was almost always someone with me who could speak better Spanish than me (usually an American) or at least was more willing to try.

And then I got to Brazil. I assumed that if my Spanish was ok, Portuguese would be fairly easy to pick up. I was wrong.

I gave my wedding speech in Portuguese

When I arrived for the World Cup two years ago I was shocked at how little I understood. My first impression was, that while it may look like Spanish, it sounds like Russian. I tried learning some bits and pieces while I was here, but that mostly just confused me when I went back to Spanish speaking countries like Argentina and Chile.

Once back in Australia, it quickly became clear I wanted to return to Brazil to be with my (now) wife, so I wanted to make a real effort to learn Portuguese. I purchased “Portuguese for Dummies” and signed up to some online language classes, but even since I've been here for eight months, it is slow going.

Trying to encourage myself to study more Portuguese

First and foremost, Portuguese is not an easy language. My biggest hurdle as always is listening. I can read quite well, but the moment someone talks to me I'm like a deer in headlights and I just freeze. I can often get the general theme of what two people are talking about, but the moment they start talking to me I seem to forget everything.

A lot of this is on me though and could be overcome if I put in more work, but again, it is easy not to. My wife speaks great English (far better than I could ever hope to be in Portuguese) and while many people in Porto Alegre say they speak no English, the majority of people I have spoken to speak a LOT more than they think – and again better than my Portuguese.

At the end of the day though, I need to work harder to improve. I can't keep blaming the lack of language culture in Australia for my lack of effort in learning the language. I have a nation full of Brazilians to practice with here.

Gaúchos do like to make things difficult though. All the theory I'd learned before arriving told me that the “tu” (you) tense is not used in Brazil (rather, voce), and yet whenever I speak to anyone here all I hear is tu. It definitely doesn't help.

At the end of the day though I know I have to work harder, and hopefully one day, it won't all sound Russian.